After dreading it all morning and snapping at Ryan for coming into the bathroom as I touched my face to put make-up on, I went to church.
The first person Ryan and I stop to talk to asks me, "What happened?" My heart stopped. He couldn't possibly be pointing out how terrible I look. I don't remember if I got out any words or not, but he gestured to the side of his face. Ouch!
I found some courage and humility. "I've always had a little acne. I went on a special diet to kill what I think is causing it, but killing it is releasing toxins. Basically, it's just a classic 'it'll get worse before it'll get better."
I saw it register, and he was sorry he asked. He made up for it by giving me the name of a naturopath in the area. I am so glad! I have been in way over my head for weeks now, but I couldn't find the name of anyone in the area. I am so hopeful that tomorrow when she gets to the office she will call, I will get an appointment right away, and I can have answers.
I was near tears during the entire worship service feeling like there was a spotlight on me and my dried out, blotchy, bumpy cheeks, but I found the courage to talk to people after the service.
I am still improving, but it is so slow and such a struggle everyday to continue to eat right. I lost another two pounds partly because I'd rather not eat than eat more fresh green vegetables. Today, I splurged just a bit. I didn't eat anything way off the diet, but I did enjoy a rice spaghetti with a sugar-free tomato sauce. So good!
Today, Ryan was talking with his mom, and I could tell she invited him to do something. I was so afraid that she might be driving by in the next few days and was wanting to take us out to eat that I whimpered and whined, "I hope not any time soon." That particular event is not until the end of July, but we are hoping to see Ryan's parents for Father's Day. That date scares me. Time can slow down, so my face has time to heal.
Worse, I was reading online that there is no guarantee or even probability that getting rid of a candida overgrowth will completely cure acne problems. I am going to deal with the scars from this breakout for at least six months if not for the rest of my life, and these are not even the last pimples I will have. It's not worth it! This whole stupid difficult diet is not worth it! I really didn't have other symptoms of candida, and I was doing it just for my acne. I regret starting this!
I can't live like this any more. I can't live with having anxiety about seeing people I know and love. I am desperate for to talk to the naturopath tomorrow. I am desperate for her to have answers for me.
Please pray and hope with me for answers soon.
Jordon
P.S. Ryan is really being wonderful with this.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
Go Away, Die-off!
Since my last post, I continued with my diet, and my acne got much worse and hasn't improve much yet. It got far and away the worst it's ever been. It was painful (but that has improved). I hate going out in public, but I had a bunch of after school events to go to anyway. I have definitely cried over this a few times. Bless my dear husband and his patience and love!
Why would eating healthy foods cause my skin to get worse?
It's this thing called die-off. When trying to kill candida albicans yeast, die-off is being too successful. The candida is dying, but it is also releasing something like 79 toxins as it dies. My body's go-to filter after the liver, kidneys, and colon is my face. So, the die-off reaction is good confirmation that I do in fact have a candida overgrowth, and I am, in fact, killing it.
Obviously, having toxins in my body for weeks is a major concern above and beyond how I look. Besides the acne, the some glands in my neck have been swollen for weeks. I've felt extra tired a few days and lost weight from the change in diet and the stress on my body. This is serious stuff.
So, I got some advice from people who've also struggled with candida. I am now taking another supplement and being even more strict on my diet. It's REALLY, REALLY hard.
Good news: I think I am winning! The swelling in my glands is going down. My face is clearing (but not fast enough--I still look terrible). I've seen some other evidence that the candida is leaving my body.
What next? Once I am symptom free for a while, I can add fruits and grains and starchy vegetables back into my diet. Then, I can go off the diet, but I'll always need to limit sugars and starches so an overgrowth doesn't happen again.
Please keep praying that my acne clears up quickly! Although most of the physical pain of it is gone, it is still very emotionally painful.
Really, God has blessed me. I am seeing results much faster than many people. God is teaching me and loving me through this. The prayers have helped already.
Jordon
Why would eating healthy foods cause my skin to get worse?
It's this thing called die-off. When trying to kill candida albicans yeast, die-off is being too successful. The candida is dying, but it is also releasing something like 79 toxins as it dies. My body's go-to filter after the liver, kidneys, and colon is my face. So, the die-off reaction is good confirmation that I do in fact have a candida overgrowth, and I am, in fact, killing it.
Obviously, having toxins in my body for weeks is a major concern above and beyond how I look. Besides the acne, the some glands in my neck have been swollen for weeks. I've felt extra tired a few days and lost weight from the change in diet and the stress on my body. This is serious stuff.
So, I got some advice from people who've also struggled with candida. I am now taking another supplement and being even more strict on my diet. It's REALLY, REALLY hard.
Good news: I think I am winning! The swelling in my glands is going down. My face is clearing (but not fast enough--I still look terrible). I've seen some other evidence that the candida is leaving my body.
What next? Once I am symptom free for a while, I can add fruits and grains and starchy vegetables back into my diet. Then, I can go off the diet, but I'll always need to limit sugars and starches so an overgrowth doesn't happen again.
Please keep praying that my acne clears up quickly! Although most of the physical pain of it is gone, it is still very emotionally painful.
Really, God has blessed me. I am seeing results much faster than many people. God is teaching me and loving me through this. The prayers have helped already.
Jordon
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