Why I'm Staying Home from the Movie

Sprinkled in my Pinterest feed are quotes about Magic Mike. Women, let's take a step back and "think with the heads on our shoulders" like we ask men to do.

If there were a movie about strippers staring a bunch of hott actresses, many women would be upset and banning their husbands from watching. I think women have a double standard for themselves. I understand. I used to think it was okay for me to call an actor hott, but not for my husband to call an actress hott. Wrong!

Let's be honest, women are going to go to the movie for the sole purpose of lusting after the actors in the movie. By lusting after them, I mean having a sexual desire for them. Have you seen a preview that gives the plot at all? Hollywood advertisers know the reason women are going to see the movie. As a quote on Pinterest said, "Magic Mike- Seriously, does it matter what this movie's about?" Pictured are all of the actors with their shirts off.

If you're not seeing the problem, think of David's affair with Bathsheba. How did it start? He watched her bathe. Hollywood is selling tickets for you to watch people bathe! If a woman wishes she could touch that actor or be the actress he's kissing, she's lusting and committing adultery in her heart! (See further explanation below.) This is perhaps more obvious in Magic Mike than in other movies, but there are many chick-flicks that might cause your thoughts to switch from being entertained to having a sexual desire for the actor or the character. Guard your thoughts! Don't watch those movies.

Jesus said, in Matthew 5:28, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Do you think this only applies to men looking at women? I think not. I am sure Jesus means also that anyone who looks at a man lustfully has already committed adultery with him in her heart as well.

Is it only the movie industry that uses this idea in society that women lusting is not a problem? No! Romance novels. But, romance novels are trashy and poorly written? So all the classy women read books like Twilight and Shades of Grey. Much better. Disguised romance books.

My Sisters, I am heartbroken that some of you get pulled in to thinking this is harmless. This movie clearly gives us the opportunity to sin. I think watching this movie will cause women to move from "harmless" entertainment to lusting very quickly. Lusting is a sin. Sin is serious, so serious that Jesus was willing to die to get rid of it.

Honestly, I am speaking out about this movie and the sin it will cause, but I sin. I knowingly sin. I hate that I do it. If people who sin aren't allowed to speak out against sin, then we might as well let sin take over because no one could speak out against it.

It is so great that God created an outlet for this desire. It doesn't have to be difficult to stay away from this sin of lusting if we are married. We simply have to redirect our sexual desire toward our husbands. If you married him, I am assuming it won't be too difficult to choose to find him attractive instead of actors or characters.

I am planning on spending my free time with my husband instead of watching or reading books that would pull my desire away from him and cause me to sin. It'll be easy for me. Ryan's very hott, but none of you are allowed to agree. He's mine!

My desire is for my husband only, and may your desire be for your husband only.

Jordon

Control

I've been thinking a lot about how much or how little control we have over our lives, how we like to have control, and the freedom that comes from not having control.

When Ryan was in danger in Iraq, I know he felt much better when he could move away or shoot back. When he had some control over the danger, by the way he told the stories to me, he seemed to have little fear at all. He really is a brave, brave man! However, when he told the stories of times when he didn't have control, he seemed to be much more stressed. (Don't go imagining any specifics. These are really general statements. I don't think Ryan wants me to share much of what he experienced.)

My grandpa has been diagnosed with ALS. He is very interested in all sorts of different treatments to gain some control over this disease that has taken control from him. It is so heartbreaking, but understandable.

When I was trying to get pregnant, I wanted to do anything I could to be in control of getting pregnant as soon as possible. But, I wasn't in control, and I'm glad it happened in God's timing.

My point is that many of us humans long for control over our own lives, but I've come to see we miss out hugely with that attitude. Trusting God's control gives freedom and peace in every situation.

When I started these different diets, I wanted control of my acne. There have been plenty of people in my life from strangers to family members who wanted to help me control my acne, too. But, I broke out trying to get control. Now that I'm on a more relaxed diet (and I cheat often), I am clearing up.

Obviously, we are somewhat in control of our health. We can make good choices in our diet, exercise habits, and choice of doctors and treatments, but ultimately, it won't save us from anything from a fatal disease to an embarrassing skin condition or anything in between.


I've started praying nightly for God to be in control of all parts of my life, but especially in the clearing up of my face since it is bothering me so much. I confess to Him that I vainly want to look better. I tell Him I know He could clear up my face with the smallest amount of effort possible. I tell Him I trust Him to clear my skin in His time and teach me along the way. Often when I ask for a particular area of my face to improve, He answers me! It has been trust-building, relationship-building practice, and it has been a wonderful thing for my attitude about the way I look.


I could stress out about eating right, and I may or may not see more progress, but I would be taking on all that responsibility. If the right foods are healing me, it is only because God created me that way and wills it so. The reality is that many pregnant women struggle with acne throughout pregnancy. I really have no control over my hormones or God's healing. I have no reason to feel guilty, responsible, or stressed. There is GREAT FREEDOM in releasing the responsibility to Him!


God is in control. We are not. There is great freedom in trusting Him. Human nature helped along by Satan's lies in our ears pushes us towards wanting control, but that feeling steals away the freedom of trusting God!


Please pray for me as I am going to be spending time with family in the coming weeks and will probably explain what "I'm" doing to "fix" my problem over and over again. Pray that I will be able to keep this freedom in trusting God and minister to others through my trust in God's timing and healing. On a different note, pray that I will be able to remember that I am still my valuable and loved self no matter my skin condition.


Thanks for the love, support, and prayers!


Jordon


P.S. I feel somewhat guilty that this isn't specifically about the baby or pregnancy. I'll just remind you: I'm thrilled about my new little baby! Morning sickness and exhaustion are lessening. Shortness of breath and dizziness are increasing. My tummy has slowed down in growing, but I'm ready for it to start growing again. I have a box of borrowed maternity clothes from my sister :) Yesterday, I reached 11 weeks. I'm almost done with my first trimester!

Yeah, Baby!

Back in late April and early May I started having vivid dreams. It was like dreaming in HD. I also had the urge to "test" for seemingly no good reason. I held off until May 4 when I had been having cramps for a day and a half but nothing else "normal." Sorry if that's TMI. I had the afternoon off from school, so I stopped to buy a test. I couldn't wait until the next morning, so I held it (which is really hard in early pregnancy) for the four hours (by the time I got home I think I only had two and a half to wait). I took the test and left the bathroom. Just as I was going back in to look, Ryan walked in the door. I had no idea he'd be home from work early, but it was perfect that he was! At 2:45 we walked into the bathroom together. I sort of hid behind him, and when I saw the a line in both windows I jumped up and down and squealed! Ryan hugged me and laughed. He gets more and more excited everyday.

Of course you all know by now my first pregnancy symptom was acne. Sigh. I really didn't want to admit it was the pregnancy for a few reasons. First, it would have meant that it would be around for weeks. Second, it would have meant there was little I could do to fix it. Third, I could face this with every pregnancy. But, finally, a couple of weeks ago I admitted to myself (with the help of the naturopath telling me) that it was the big hormone shift. Here's hoping it's just a first trimester thing! It continues to improve (s-l-o-w-l-y).

My morning sickness and tiredness waited to show up until I was done with school. I am so glad because I've really been a big baby about it. I take naps, eat snacks, play tetris, and watch reruns of Boy Meets World. I've started to have a bit more energy, and after this week, the house is starting to look decent again :) One of the best foods for me to eat that satisfies me and is relatively healthy is bananas, so Ryan has started calling the baby "Monkey."

Spiritually, this has been amazing. Instantly, so much hurt disappeared. It was a huge relief because I was so afraid that the hurt and jealousy that I'd struggled with for so long would stay and ruin my pregnancy and even my time with my baby, but it left because God's timing is always perfect. This is not to say that it was a sin to hurt or to long for a baby (the worry and jealousy were sins, though). I just want to assure all of you out there--no matter what the struggle--that God's timing is perfect if you are giving the situation over to Him and inviting Him to be Lord over it.

We told our parents by putting a picture of the first ultra-sound with a frame that said "Happy Father's Day Grandpa!" in our dads' Father's Day cards. We mailed my dad's. I guess my dad was concerned with reading his card first, but my mom could tell it was a picture of an ultra-sound and kept telling him to look at the insert! He kept refusing, and she couldn't take his present out of his hands, so she had to be patient. It makes me laugh to picture it! We got to hand deliver the news to Ryan's dad. He looked at the insert right away and showed it to Ryan's mom. Both were glowing! Ryan's mom's reaction was everything I hoped! Surprise (maybe even disbelief at first), smiles, near bursting out of her skin. I knew she wanted a grandchild about as much as I wanted a baby :)

I am so thrilled you all know now! YAY!

Jordon

P.S. Ryan and I can tell I'm "showing." So, we expect the rest of you will be able to tell in a few weeks. Ryan keeps patting my tummy. Happy eye-roll!

Update

From the moment I walked into her office, I felt comforted, peaceful, and hopeful. The naturopathic doctor I saw was both kind and confident she could help. She said she had cystic acne at one time, and now she has nary a scar. (If anyone wants her name, just email me. She can help with many other issues besides acne.)

I didn't explain to her all I went through on the anti-candida diet, and when I mentioned it, she pointed out that the doctor who started the whole thing was named Crook. Obviously, she doesn't believe in it. The reason she thought that many people seemed to have success with it, especially at first like I did, was that it was similar to the blood type diet for Os which is what I and most other people are. She thinks that body's hormones are off balance and that the blood type diet will help to balance them out.

Honestly, I don't know what caused me to breakout so badly. I don't know if it was food I was eating, food I wasn't eating, taking probiotics, candida die-off, hormonal imbalance, or what. It's really frustrating to me that I don't know. I just don't.

The anti-candida diet seemed to get more and more restrictive the more research I did. The blood type diet is quite different. There are many good foods to eat, and it's not too big a deal if I mess up. The naturopathic doctor said I only have to do it 80%.  So, I am enjoying the new selection of food. I am feeling stronger and more energetic.

Other issues I had with the anti-candida diet are improving. For one, the glands in my neck are much less swollen. The one under my right ear has hardly been swollen at all the past few days, and I am looking forward to calling it normal in the next few. My face seems to be producing some of its own oil again. It was extremely dry. It also does not get so hot and itchy and painful at night as it was getting. I was waking up in the middle of the night because of it, but I'm not anymore.

The big issue, my terrible acne break-out, has not shown huge improvement. So bummed! It has shown just little improvements like it was at the end of the candida diet. I try not to analyze it too many times a day. Ideally, I wouldn't even analyze it daily. I know week to week I am making improvements. I just want so badly for a drastic improvement.

While I'm waiting for the diet's benefits to kick in, the naturopath gave me a skin regimen given to her by an old lady whose niece had seen a fancy dermatologist. The ND said it worked for her and that I might see improvement in 2-3 days (I'm dissappointed in how small the improvements have been if any). I wash my face with castile soap, cover my face in evaporated milk and let it dry, then I clean off the milk with Everclear. I have a big bottle of Everclear sitting in my bathroom. You should chuckle a little.

That's all the facts, but God's been teaching me and I've been feeling a lot. First, God has shown me I had pride as a motivator for many of my actions. My first feeling is I regret even starting this whole thing. I would give anything to have my face look like it did when I started. I am glad I learned what an impact diet has on acne, but I wish I would have stopped with cutting back on sugar. I feel embarrassed that my vanity brought all of this about. Its terribly ironic that many people didn't even know I had acne before I tried to fix it.

That is the next problem. I tried to fix it by doing my own research rather than asking for help. If I'd have looked for a naturopathic doctor before trying anything on my own, this would be so much better. Now, even if the new diet and regimen doesn't work, it is comforting to have a professional to call. Pride, pride, pride.

God is breaking me of my pride though. It's humbling to explain I don't know what happened. Prideful people hate to say we don't know. It's humbling to look like this. I'd rather have people admiring my skin than cringing at it. But, it's been good to be reassured by many people of my outer and inner beauty despite the monster living on my face. I am still experiencing anxiety when I have to see people, but I would say it's improving. It's humbling to say that I don't know if what I'm doing now will work. It's humbling to say that my vanity started it all.

God is also showing me that He works all things together for good. If I hadn't had terrible acne on my face, I wouldn't have gotten help from the naturopath. If I had still been in school while trying to figure this out, it would have been awful! Most of all, God is not letting this horrible experience by without using it to draw me closer to Him.

It's been humbling to have your help, too. I feel bad asking, but I am so thankful for your response.

Thanks for the love, encouragement, and prayers,

Jordon