The Birth Story

The birth story. I have no creative way to start, but I know some of you want the details. I'll try to find the appropriate balance between details and discretion, but I am already thinking I'll fall to the side of giving too many details--consider this your warning.

The Beginning

Labor is a loose term defined differently by different people. If you think that labor starts when dilation starts or even by the time a woman is four centimeters dilated, I was in labor sometime before December 7 (35 weeks). 

On December 7, I went back to school to say good-bye and tie up loose ends with my replacement, ran errands, and planned on going back to school for a Christmas party. Well, I had contractions all day. They weren't extremely painful or any different than the stronger contractions I'd been having for the two weeks prior, but since this was the first time they lasted all day, I called the nurse. She had me lay down and time the contractions while drinking lots of water. I timed the contractions for an hour. I thought I'd been having contractions every ten minutes. It turns out they were only four minutes apart. 

At this point, I had already decided to stay home from the Christmas party, and I thought I'd just feel better if I went to get checked. I called my parents on the way to the hospital, and they started on their way. Ryan was in Dallas at a class, so I was just going to keep him informed. 

When I got there, the nurse thought I was four centimeters dilated. Then, the midwife thought I was five centimeters just an hour later. I was admitted. Ryan started an all night long drive back from Dallas. Mom spent the night in the hospital with me. I began preparing myself for having a preemie. If she'd been born that weekend, she'd probably have to spend some time in the NICU to get help breathing.

By the time Ryan got there in the morning, the contractions weren't getting harder, and I had not dilated any more than five centimeters. We went home. The nurses and midwife thought we'd be back in a few days--possibly even in a few hours. Mom and Dad went on to a family Christmas. My cousin, who drove two hours to be my doula, went shopping and back home. Ryan's mom, who had joined Ryan on his trip, came to our house to wait and help us prepare. After five or six days, she went home, and we continued to wait.

The Middle

Every week when I walked into the midwives' office, they were surprised to see me. "You're the girl who's dilated to 5--well, any day now!" "I can't make predictions anymore." "You might have made some progress." "You cervix is just so stretchy, and her head's right there."

On Christmas Eve, the contractions that I'd been having for a few hours almost everyday were much stronger. To the hospital we went. By four Christmas morning, I fell asleep. The contractions had all but stopped. The midwife on duty tried her best to convince the doctor on duty to let her break my water, but I was only 37 weeks, and the hospital has a 39 week policy. I was slightly relieved because I wasn't ready to start any interventions yet. So, we came home...on Christmas day...without our Christmas baby. I cried.

I was doing exercises to get Adlee to continue to move down hoping she'd break my water or push down far enough to really get contractions going and keep them going. Ryan and I had gone through a Bradley Method class taught by a local chiropractor, and I began seeing her to let her do what she could to help get things ready and moving.

We waited weeks more. I was getting those strong contractions at least once a week and having some contractions everyday. I was up to 6 cm, and Adlee continued to move down. At my first appointment in January, the midwife thought things felt different and that I'd have a baby in a few days--nope. 

The Grand Finale

At my second appointment in January (on the 9th), she asked if I wanted her to strip my membranes. I was hesitant because I wanted an all natural childbirth and didn't want to start down a road of interventions. She promised that it wouldn't do anything unless my body was ready. I said okay. I saw my instructor/chiropractor after the midwife, and by the time I was driving home, contractions had started. We went to the hospital, and the contractions got harder than they'd been before, but they started slowing again. At this point, I was 6-7 centimeters, and the midwife didn't really want to send me home. So, Ryan and I decided that she could and should break my water.

Around 7 p.m., she broke my water. It wasn't long before I was in hard, hard labor and then, transition, and then, pushing. Adlee was born at 9:33 p.m.

I spend hard labor and most of transition in the tub. I'd sit back and try to relax between contractions. When a contraction started, I expressed my frustration that they just kept coming by saying, "Oh, shoot!" I'm really proud of myself for not cussing at all! During the contractions, I tried to breath or hum in a low voice, but more often than not, I started to whine and panic. The midwife and nurse reminded me not to, so I got mad at myself and growled in a low voice. My voice was hoarse the next day. There was a student nurse there who'd never seen a vaginal birth let alone one without drugs. I'm pretty sure I freaked her out! I moved to my hands and knees in the tub and rocked back and forth during the contractions. At this point, all modesty was gone. Absolutely gone. I was naked and totally unaware of where I was pointing my behind or if my legs were spread.

The urge to push hit me swift and strong! I was expecting the pain of the contractions to lessen, but it didn't. So, for a while, I was in the most pain I'd ever felt, and I wanted to push. The midwife checked me, and I was only at nine centimeters. I didn't let her check during a contraction to see if I was getting to ten. I stayed in the tub semi-pushing and continuing to growl and rock during contractions for a bit longer.

When I got out, I squatted on the floor for a couple of contractions, hung on to Ryan for a couple contractions, was on my hands and knees on the bed for a couple of contractions. When the pushing contractions finally came and I wasn't feeling so much pain, I sat/squatted on the bed. I alternated between squatting and the classic pushing position where the nurses held my legs. Ryan says I only pushed for 45 minutes, but I was feeling so tired and kept saying I didn't think I could do it any more. Well, no choice. No stopping. I probably didn't use the contractions as well as I could have if I hadn't been so tired. I did use the mirror which helped me stay motivated to push especially when we started to glimpse a head. It was frustrating--even though I knew it was normal--to see the head go back when I stopped pushing. Once I knew that my baby's head was more than half out, I didn't stop pushing until she was on my chest. That might have been a mistake. The crowning really didn't hurt at the time, but it did some damage.

My baby girl was beautiful and chubby. All of the sudden, I was aware of what was going on around me. Ryan cut the cord--which was super short and thick. I remembered, after a few moments, to tell Adlee all of the things I wanted to say to her. We just cuddled and looked at each other and attempted to nurse a bit. Time flew! She scored two nines for her Apgar scores. After about an hour, they checked her out and weighed her. She recognized and was comforted by Ryan's voice as he talked her through it. We found out she weighed 8 lbs. 6 oz. and was 20 inches long. She weighed less than either Ryan or I had when were were born.

I made it through Adlee's birth without medication. It wasn't as relaxed as I'd hoped, but oh well. I told myself that I didn't have to do it perfectly or even well, I just had to do it. I did it. I will do it again someday. The hard labor is only hours long. I can endure anything for a few hours. The pain afterwards has me considering a C-section, but that'd leave me with just a different kind of pain.

The terrible truth that not many people talk about is the pain after childbirth. I got up to shower and was shocked to see and feel how swollen I was (I'll leave out horrific details here). I knew I got some stitches, but I wasn't prepared for the swelling and pain. I couldn't get out of bed by myself for the first 24 hours. Today, thirteen days later, I'm still feeling some pain where I tore. I am hoping next time this pain is less and shorter.

In the end, as any mom will tell you, it was all worth it! It was the hardest thing I've done, and it had the BEST result. I am glad my Adlee is here and healthy, and that's all that matters.

From the Happy Mama,

Jordon